7NNT25: Day 14 – Chiang Mai

Soundtrack: “Umbrella”, Rhianna

Sunday in Chiang Mai. Managed to wake in time for breakfast, it wasn’t the best sleep as congestion and coughing was a pain. Hotel breakfast nothing much to speak of, no types of cheese, congee, rice, noodles, sausage, and eggs basically. I skipped the rice and the congee, as I wasn’t sure how long they’d been sitting there, instead opting for the noodles, sausage and eggs.

Noodle 7.0: Unnamed Thin Stir-fried Noodles (Royal Lanna Hotel breakfast)

They were okay. Possibly an egg-noodle, with some green leaves in the mix. When you’re a tired and hungry traveller and want something to soak up egg yolks that isn’t white bread, they do the job.

Having noticed that my cold/cough seemed better outside in the heat, I figured today I’d just steam the germs out and head up to one of the nearby Chiang Mai temples, the Wat Phra That Doi Suthep (or Doi Suthep for short, but that’s really the name of the mountain). The story goes something like there was a religious guy who found a relic, possibly one of Buddha’s bones. The relic then wither broke or spawned into 2 relics, one of which was strapped to a white elephant. The elephant decided to climb the mountain, and then either did a song and dance or dropped dead, depending on who is telling the story. The king took this to be an omen, and built a temple to house the relic.

Fortunately in the 20th century they built a road up the mountain, so it’s a lot easier to get to, provided you can get a driver to take you (or, if you’re crazy, walk it). As my goal was to sweat out all the germs I wanted a songtew, basically a red (occasionally yellow) ute that has a semi enclosed back for passengers. Despite all the reviews and travel blogs saying these are about 200 THB for the round trip, all my initial quotes were for 800 THB. I also read that a good place to get these was in the vicinity of the north gate (I’m staying closer to the east gate) so I started walking in that direction. Near the gate, I found a driver who agreed to 500 THB, but he couldn’t take me, he’d call his “friend”. Seemed like he had to call a few friends before someone would agree to take me. So I spent this time sitting in the back of his songtew, trying to make polite conversation and waiting.

Eventually the new driver showed up, and probably thought I was weird when I declined his offer of sitting in the air-conditioned cab section in order to sit on one of the two benches in the back. It was warm, but there was a breeze when the songtew was moving. It’s a weird feeling riding in the back, with the opening right there out onto the street, watching the scooters zoom up and then overtake. After getting to the temple and agreeing to meet the driver at a set time, I headed up the steps. From the drop off point there’s a choice of walk or take a funicular, but if I’m going to sweat these germs out I’ll do it right, so steps it was. Once you get through the souvenir shops etc at the bottom, there’s a long series of steps up to the temple, flanked by a pair of long naga statues. I’m pretty sure I’ve been to other temples that line the steps with a series of naga, but these ones just have one each side with a long snake body extending to the top. It’s a bit of a climb, but for once the stairs are built for normal human beings, so they aren’t too steep or narrow. Definitely an easier climb than the minaret. At the top is the kiosk to pay for admission to the wat, which I think is the wrong way to do it, like charge first, so folks feel like they have to do the climb to get their value for money, rather than hit them with payment almost like an exercise tax. Though maybe it works cos people feel that if they’ve come this far they might as well follow through, and less foreigners are likely to have the breath left to complain (it’s only like 30 or 50 THB, and if I got paid 30 THB/minute for writing this thought I might have earned enough to afford an over-priced drink at a drag show).

The wat/stupa/temple (I’d like to think that one day I might learn the difference and remember this, but given I’m still not totally sorted with the difference between a church and a cathedral I’ll make no promises) is magnificent, full of statues, monks, and symbols that are only vaguely familiar but are nonetheless impressive without understanding. I almost made a faux pas attempting to walk around the main stupa anti-clockwise, until I saw some visitors holding instruction cards (side note: if I ever get really bored one day I should go reading up on what people called “clockwise” before clocks were a thing, “anti-widdershins”?). Lots of statues and imagery of thin-Buddha, Thais and Vietnamese seem to predominantly idolise Buddha as the thin incarnation. It’s certainly a difference coming from Uzbekistan and all the Muslim imagery and art that doesn’t portray living beings nor Mohammed, to Thailand, predominantly Buddhist complete with Buddha statues and posters available in any street market.

Made it back down the steps without any incident, hopefully I’ve done my step-falling for this trip. Grabbed a drink had a look at the stalls at the bottom selling souvenirs (including one shop selling CDs, possibly Buddha’s Greatest Hits or some naga rock) and restaurants selling food. I’ve decided that if ever you see me wearing elephant print pants, it’s likely a cry for help of some sort, a plea for someone to put me out of my misery. Each to their own, but nope, I just can’t do it.

At the base camp/parking lot, I found out why the songtew drivers in Chiang Mai all want to quote a price for both directions, because according to the touts there it’s only 80 THB back to Chiang Mai, and there are plenty of songtews there waiting — I did have suspicions this might be the case. There seems to be some weird agreement among songtew drivers, where they’ll do passenger swaps, or like in my case call another driver to do the job. By the way, when I got back to my hotel, that other driver pulls out a card that says the cost is 600 THB, not the 500 I was quoted, and that the driver who set it up “didn’t tell him”. So I paid the 600 THB (after an extra trip because he wouldn’t change a 1000 THB note. Mr Venus, and the fixer whose name I didn’t get, I hope in your next lives a white elephant steps on your toes.

The old city turns a number of streets into a pedestrian only market on Sunday evenings, so I took a tuk tuk (no more songtews for me) to the east gate and immediately found myself in a throng of tourists and maybe some locals. Lots and lots of stalls, food options, entertainment, an amazing assault on all the senses. A few flashes in the sky and rising humidity had all of the hallmarks of a thunderstorm coming — stall holders were scrambling to put up plastic awnings to cover their goods (though unlike vietnam, I couldn’t see anyone getting ready to sell umbrellas — they haven’t got this canny in uzbekistan either yet).

The first food item to catch my eye was a pandan waffle — I mean, that’s just heaven in the making. And it was good, crunchy, chewy, and full of pandan flavour. Next were Hommi Samosas, having had lots of the Uzbek somsa was curious to see how these compared. Had three varieties: potato and green beans (was okay, lacked a little extra punch); mushroom and plant-based meat (jackfruit, was surprisingly good, lots of flavour); and chicken kraprow (nice thai basil kick). The pastry was slightly heavier than somsas, but just as tasty. Had Thai pudding with purple sweet potato topping, again, wasn’t very sweet but still quite tasty; a pandan drink served in bamboo (points for sustainability, sadly didn’t really deliver lots of pandan goodness); before I settled down with some fried squid and egg. So much goodness, what’s not to love about that combo, squid cooked to tender not rubber, a little egg crunch in places, so good.

At that point I checked my phone and read that super fierce drag queen/transgender icon Bianca Castro-Arabejo, aka Jiggly Caliente, had passed away in the Philippines. Felt like a sucker punch, I’d followed the news that she was unwell but it sounded like she’d pull through. I teared up. For what it’s worth, I wasn’t much of a fan of Jiggly in the US franchises, she seemed like she had a lot of anger that just got misdirected. But I found a whole lot of respect watching her judge Drag Race Philippines, where you could see the love and respect that she had for the queens and drag, and the power and passion she had for inspiring transwomen. I didn’t expect that at all, I think the world got a little darker with her passing. Much as I’m looking forward to catching some shows when I hit the Philippines at the end of the week, if they aren’t at their best it’ll be understandable.

I had figured on an early night, it being Sunday and me still dealing with pesky germs that wouldn’t bake away, but figured after this to hit 6ixcret one more time. Again the queens turned it, amazingly they did different numbers to Friday night, including a first set finale involving a queen, lighter fluid, a bar, and no wigs being harmed in the production. Thai queens do great lighting effects, but at 6ixcret they have no fear when it comes to fire as well. Don’t try this at home. Interestingly while there was an overlap of music between 6ixcret and the Chiang Mai Cabaret, the interpretations differed dramatically. It’s an amazing artform, performed by incredible folks. (Also a belated shout-out to the Chiang Mai Cabaret for performing “It’s Raining Men” at “around about half past ten”.)

With the end of the show, we stumbled out to find the threatened thunderstorm had finally broken, rain was pouring, streets were awash, not serious flooding but deep in places. Had a chat with a group of folks waiting for the rain to pass, from Toronto and China (?Chengdu maybe) about life and queens and how folks just need to stop being arseholes. Once the rain stopped we wandered of, and as I likely had one too many cocktails took a lap of the block before heading to my hotel (yes, demonstrating male privilege etc) while the streets dried out rapidly, and it wasn’t long before the humidity rose again.

Tomorrow is last day in Chiang Mai, so one last noodle blitz, maybe some archery, and laundry.