Day 10 – Hoi An to Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC)

I’ve been avoiding talking about the American/Vietnam war mostly, as I’m here for food not politics. Heading south, it’s harder to avoid, there are still scars and remnants and today’s tour was war heavy. Probably a good think L wasn’t 100% so took a rest day in the rather poor quality hotel room.

Up early in Hoi An to bus to Danang for the flight to HCMC. Hotel kindly packed us breakfast for eating at the airport. The breakfast was nothing flash, the only edible part were the over hard boiled eggs, the rest was old bread, weird green fruit that no two tasted the same (looked like a small stretched granny smith, tasted anywhere between watery sweet and sour, texture between crisp and floury), and plastic cheese. Easily worst meal of the trip to date.

I’m sure Danang used to be an air base (writing this on the road so no access to Doc Google), as there were a bunch of old huts along the side of the runway. Kinda cool taking off from a runway that B-52s may also have used.

First political rant: Intrepid, wtf? We’re sold on the whole local experience, trying not to leave a damaging footprint, learning to appreciate local culture and respect all round, and they book us onto Jetstar, the shit quality Australian budget airline. The airline that has been incredible in continually sticking up two fingers to disabled travellers. The airline that would charge a sick woman just for some water. Big black mark for that one, Intrepid, that’s one I’m not going to forget next time you try to sell me something.

I haven’t done a proper tour like this before, but certainly looking at this I’m seeing that the company is cutting a few corners: the organised paid for meals are the cheaper ones (with extras like dessert that we have to pay for); a couple of times we’ve had to pay for taxis for planned (non-optional) events; the HCMC hotel is pushing hard to be considered 2 star; just a whole lot of little things. Obviously as a company Intrepid are expected to make money, but I’m not sure I’d ever rate them above good as these things go. Their propaganda sets a high bar, and they aren’t really living up to it around the edges.

Anyway, enough ranting, let’s talk about war. If you’re reading this for a history lesson, you’re in trouble. Suffice to say that from 1945-1975 Vietnam was in a constant state of civil war with the added bonus of lots of outside influence. Certainly the way the VN govt are selling it, the outside influence was the aggressor and the locals were either patriots or puppet servants (Australia is a US satellite, too). In HCMC there’s a bit more of a narrative about this, as the former capital of the south and largest city they seem to want everyone to know that it was the US/French fault. So there’s the War Remnants Museum, with a bunch of old US planes, helicopters, tanks and bombs on the outside, and lots of exhibits on the inside of how the rest of the world supported the North, how the US perpetrated war crimes, and how Agent Orange has f*cked them up for generations. It’s a little sad and sobering: sad that human suffering is being put to political reasons, and sobering that a lot more Vietnamese are having to live with the repercussions for generations, more than in the US and “satellites”. The chemicals sprayed on the land and people were hideous, and if not a war crime probably should have been considered as such, but the museum left me with the impression that every congenital abnormality from the 70s onwards would be blamed on chemical agents, whether true or not. I’d like to hope they are looking at causes and treatments, not just blame. And from what I’ve seen, VN treats its disabled about the same as Australia does, and we’re only about a 3 star rating in this.

After the War Remnants Museum it was off to the Cu Chi tunnels, the remnants of over 200km of tunnels dug by locals during their 30 year struggle. A demonstration of amazing resilience, if with a bit more spin, selling life in the tunnels as not so bad when other stuff I’ve read indicates they had lots of disease and other bad stuff down there. I’d have been happier with someone saying, “if was hot and dirty and smelly and damn unpleasant but we had to do it” rather than the official line where the tunnels full of unicorns. The Cu Chi tunnels were certainly a serious set up, and just the sort of thing I’d want if I had someone trying to bomb me into the stone age.

Part of the visit involves the option of taking a few shots from an M-16 and AK-47 in the firing range, at about $2/bullet it’s not the place to go trigger happy but still can say I’ve done it. Preferred the AK, less recoil and possibly easier to aim, but either way my shots went way off. They had other guns to choose from, including an M-60, noisy bastard. Another visitor cranked it up while we were there, but figured it wouldn’t be worth it at the bullet cost. I’m wondering where they get their M-16 ammo from, as rounds have a use by date and I’m sure any left over from 1975 are not usable by now. There may be something else using the same calibre, but my ironic brain wonders if they have to buy it from the US.

Back to the hotel through HCMC peak hour, maybe 2 million scooters sharing the road. Quite chaotic, but didn’t see any accidents. L was feeling better, and once the sweat had stopped so did I. The hotel’s saving grace is the room aircon works: the Asian Ruby 3 is barely 2 stars. On the plus side: good location, Wi-Fi, aircon, shower, bed not too hard. On the bad: small room, leaking hose in bathroom, ant infestation, musty corridors, room service plates not cleared for over 12 hours, surly staff insisting that you’ve used the mini bar and/or stolen a slipper, expensive laundry, breakfast to rival the packed one from Hoi An (dunked everything in my pho to heat it up) and I wasn’t touching the bacon as it was well and truly underdone and cold. We stayed one night and have another night there at the end – not the greatest finish to the trip. As we were out sorting laundry smelt some amazing aromas, will follow my nose next breakfast.

Dinner was at a guide recommendation, some more local-type stuff. Had a small cup-like pancake wrapped in lettuce and herbs and prawn and pork, followed by pork tongue with cheese. Tasted different to beef tongue, firmer, a little more chewy, but flavoursome, and the cheese wasn’t strong (didn’t do much for the pork but was really good with rice). Also tried Saigon green beer (there’s a red Export version too) and found it to be one of the best bottled brews I’ve had here, lighter and fresher than the others.

I’m getting over beer, I haven’t been a big fan for a long time and while I can appreciate that it’s the best thing to be drinking in this weather, it’s a little bloating. Will be happy to be home and sipping a whisky or two. But I haven’t come to another country to drink Black Label.