Holiday in Cambodia: Day 5, Battambang

So I have a list, which would come as no surprise to anyone, as every traveller has at least one list: things to always pack, things to avoid packing, 15 ways to be a tight-arse in an impoverished country, and so on.

Mine is in response to the frequent question: where would you love to go to or go back to? Being honest, almost everywhere I’ve been to has left me feeling either that I had a really great time, or that I barely scratched the surface of somewhere unique and want to explore more, so I’d go back to almost everywhere I’ve been, if the opportunity arose.

Almost. My list is of places I feel absolutely no desire to go back to, unless it’s with incredible force (and extreme prejudice). These are places that I’ve been to and felt little connection with, or that I just had a really, really bad experience of, or that I feel like I did all that it had to offer, and going back would be a waste of everyone’s time. And it’s a small list: Auckland, Saratoga Springs, and Liverpool are three that immediately spring to mind. And to this I’m going to add Battambang. Not for any really major reasons, it’s just that in under two days I’ve pretty much done everything.

The main advertised sights to see in Battambang are the bat caves, the killing cave, the bamboo railway, and some old houses and temples. For those that like hiking there are waterfalls. It’s also the region with Cambodia’s only winery, which is a fairly new addition and hasn’t made it onto many lists yet. Me being me, it was my main reason for picking Battambang, as who wouldn’t want to go to the only winery in a country?

I spent the morning wandering the main part of town, checking out the museum, which is a single building: interesting, but doesn’t have a gift shop.

My afternoon plans almost came unstuck. Yesterday I’d arranged with the hotel tuk-tuk driver to pick me up at 2pm for tour of winery and then bat caves, for $12. He assured me that was enough time and money to do this. Downstairs at the agreed time, I’m met by a different driver, as for reasons unclear my original driver isn’t available, but for $15 he’ll take me to bamboo train and bat caves. There’s much back and forth, as he offers to throw in a visit to an old house, but assures me winery is in the wrong direction and there’s no time for it all. Eventually for $14 he agrees to bamboo train, bat caves, and maybe winery if there is time.

The bamboo train is kinda fun, and testament to the ability of Cambodians to take an engine and a belt and move anything. Before Cambodia managed to re-establish its rail network, these trains used to run on the main railway line, and were used to haul actual freight and passengers, but now they run along an approximately 7km straight stretch of track through the countryside.

There are essentially six pieces to a bamboo train: a flat pallet with a wooden frame and bamboo slats; two axles each with metal wheels (allegedly salvaged from abandoned tanks); one engine, about the size of your average lawnmower’s; one fan belt, which connects the engine and one of the axels; and a stick. The stick is the accelerator, as the engine isn’t fixed to the frame but sits between guide rails. Push the engine so the belt is tight and the train goes fast, let it go slack and the train slows down. The engine may have had a throttle as well but I couldn’t say for sure.

The track is single lane, so when two carriages approach, it’s a simple job to unhook the belt, lift the pallet and move to the side of the track, and then pick up the axels too. Then push the other train past, and repeat in reverse order. At the end of the line are some sheds full of souvenirs, where the locals will assure you that no one has bought anything from them all day, and that you should buy the 100% cotton t-shirts that are suspiciously too-stretchy. The drinks too are twice town prices.

So it’s a bit of a con, really, a nice view between merchandising, and didn’t really have the thrillseeker adventure of the average scooter or tuk-tuk ride. It’s a way to pass the time.

It turned out that there was time to go to the winery (my cynical suspicion is either the driver doesn’t get any kick-backs from the winery, or that he feared for his vehicle taking the rather interesting dirt-road shortcut). It seems quite small, and the range on offer for tasting was limited to a 2015 shiraz, a brandy, straight grape juice, and a ginger drink. Surprisingly they were all pretty good: the shiraz was quite easy to drink, light on the tannins, and if they sold it in a screw top I’d have bought a bottle (I have my suspicions about corks and intercontinental air travel/changes in pressurisation). The brandy was pretty good, too, but I’m not expert on brandy. I do know that sticking my nose into the glass on a tropical day gave me a big alcohol blast, but it was a lot smoother that expected. The grape juice was good, and the ginger to finish was quite refreshing. So Cambodian wine, when tasted in the local climate, is pretty good.

The bat caves/killing caves is a hill with several cave complexes. The killing caves, so named because the Khmer Rouge would kill people by marching them to the top entrance, bludgeoning them to death, and throwing their bodies into the cave. The main cavern is now a shrine with a reclining Buddha, while the bones of the victims sit in a glass memorial case. Around this part of the caves are a number of statues, including a depiction of Hell. There are also a couple of viewing platforms with some of the best views of the surrounding countryside.

The bat cave unsurprisingly contains bats, apparently over a million of them. The opening is about halfway up the rockface, and down below have been set up a bunch of chairs and refreshment stands where each evening around sunset a crowd gather to watch the bats fly out to grab some tasty bugs for dinner. It’s quite amazing to see them flying out of the cave mouth, they just keep coming.

Then it was the tuk-tuk back to Battambang, where I not only paid the driver the $14, I tipped him too.

I kind of think that a lot of the way that tourists get hit up for extra cash around Battambang, the tips for everything, the overpriced drinks and souvenirs, they are because there’s so little to do after 8pm. The canny operators feel they can squeeze a few extra bucks out knowing the visitors won’t be holding back for spending on the nightlife.

But not all of Battambang is like that. Dinner was an excellent squid with kampot peppercorns, with a mango smoothie, and it took me a couple of attempts to persuade the operator that I was happy to leave a $1 tip.