Baltics24: Day 17 – Istanbul
Still not Constantinople.
Today was about ticking off the big ticket items, the Hagia Sofia (reminder, pronounced “aya sofiya”) and Topkapi Palace (rough translation “palace with too many stupid tourists”).
The Hagia Sofia (translation “Holy Wisdom”) was built in the 6th Century to be a cathedral, after several other churches in the same spot had existed (the one immediately before was burnt down when some chariot racing politics got out of hand). Then when the Ottoman empire showed up, they stripped out all of the cathedral trappings and turned it into a mosque. Then came the Young Turks who turned it into a museum, before in 2020 the current folks decided Ataturk was wrong and it should be a mosque again, which made a few people unhappy.
It also has a really badly organised ticketing system, which continues to make people unhappy. To buy a ticket, first everyone queues up on one side of the road, while being constantly hassled by “official guides” offering overpriced tours and a “promise” of skipping the line. eventually you get to the ticket window, where they then close it in front of you and go to lunch, so you get shuffled around various until you end up with the one person who does the late lunch. Then everyone in front of you haven’t done the research so ask all manner of questions that you, who just wants “one ticket, mosque only” are forced to take multiple deep breaths to stop your eyes perpetually spinning. (The ticket office sells two types of ticket, either mosque only, or a combined mosque and museum, valid for day of purchase.) Then, you go back down the road and join the queue on the other side, where you still get hassled by “official guides”, before then going through the clothing check, where folks seem to be perpetually amazed that you can’t wear shorts and a crop top into a mosque.
Today was a good people day, obviously.
Sadly, thanks to the various changes of ownership and purpose through the centuries, there’s not a lot to see inside the Hagia Sofia. There are a couple of spots where the early iconography has been uncovered, and a spot on one of the marble balconies where a Viking some years ago carved the equivalent of “I was here”, but otherwise the top floor where visitors are allowed (ground floor for praying only) has been stripped out. There’s still lots of interesting marble, and a bunch of steps to climb, cool dome artwork, and you can peek over the edge to where they are praying, but otherwise I think the main attraction is just to say that you’ve been there.
Hagia Sofia, I’ve been there.
While I was doing this, L was braving the ticket queues down the road at Topkapi Palace (she’s already been to the Hagia Sofia). In theory, it’s possible to get either a single Topkapi Palace ticket, or a combined Topkapi and Harem ticket, but for some reason neither ticket machine nor human wanted to sell L the single, so we ended up with the combined extra expensive ticket. Though, when we got to the Harem section, they were also selling tickets just for that, so it all seems a bit dodgy.
Topkapi Palace is the old home of the Ottoman Sultans, who started construction in the mid 15th Century and then kept adding to it over time, until around the 19th Century when it fell out of favour against other, newer palatial accommodations (maybe the sprawling layout and need for 1500 staff lost its charm). After the end of Ottoman times, it was turned into a museum and it’s stayed one. A lot of the rooms are empty. Our first stop were the old kitchen areas, which were okay, there’s a bunch of serving implements, china, serving bowls, everything you need to start up a kitchen catering for super rich folks. My appreciation struggled a little as it felt the old rooms had been mostly gutted before given a basic restoration, so there wasn’t a lot of information on how the old kitchens were set up (look, a chimney, look another chimney) other than displays of relevant small items, cutlery, crockery, that kind of thing. It was only once we got to the old confectionary rooms that there was at least some attempt to illustrate how the space was used, where things were ground, where other things were prepared, a connection between items and space lacking elsewhere. Based on the items on display, the Ottoman empire weren’t good at producing serving receptacles or crockery fit for a sultan, as just about all the ones on display were from China, Japan, or Europe (maybe they were all gifts from visiting dignitaries — running short on cups again? Let’s invite the Chinese ambassador for a meeting, he’s sure to bring gifts). Credit where it’s due, the Ottomans did make a cute metal coffee pot on wheels.
After a while, Topkapi Palace starts to look like the back of a lot of people’s heads. Or the back of people’s phones. There are those folks that have to stop and take the right picture of every single thing, the folks who are on video calls, and then there are just folks everywhere. No wonder the sultans moved out. We checked out the gallery of clothing, complete with the explanatory note that they have a good selection of old sultans’ clothes as these were all stored nicely and preserved, but women’s garments were rarely done so. Yay. There were a number of kaftans in a bright array of silk, colours and patterns that you wouldn’t have expected to see (pink with yellow polkadots in the 18th Century even), though they’d chosen to display most of the garments flat against panels.
The big ticket items are mostly in the Treasury, the Topkapi Dagger and the Spoonmaker’s Diamond, along with an assortment of neat weaponry. Getting into the Treasury involves a chunk more queuing, possibly to slow those folks who just come for what’s in here, or possibly because the curators are sadists, who knows. The Spoonmaker’s Diamond is an 86 carat chunk of carbon with any number of rumoured back stories — my current favourite is that it was discovered by Liberace while he was time-travelling, who then lost it in a bet on a kebab eating contest with a sultan (it’s my favourite because I just made it up, but it’s no less plausible than any of the others). It’s pretty, and it’s strategically positioned within the gallery so that it blocks all traffic not too far inside the doorway. I was a little surprised to see it so soon, normally these things are almost at the end after forcing visitors to slog through 143 swords that all look the same. Similarly the Topkapi Dagger, a pretty looking dagger with lots of bling, is not long after the diamond. With that out of the way, we could check out the neat weaponry, old muskets, swords, maces, axes, some interesting armour including horse armour.
One of the other rooms in the palace also hosts a collection of weaponry, including some very angry looking maces, arrows that weren’t designed for making friends, and a beautiful rapier whose blade had a triangular cross section, so very much a stabby weapon. There were also some simply huge swords from Hungary, the sort that just seem like overcompensation, as well as some huge ornate muskets (speaking about overcompensation).
Having paid the extra we checked out the Harem, which isn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds. A bunch more empty rooms, but towards the end there are some shiny things to look at.
We skipped the holy relics section as we were both peopled-out and there was a queue. Kind of a shame to miss Moses’s walking stick, Mohammed’s autograph and footprint, and Joseph’s turban, but sometimes that happens.
Topkapi Palace, again, done it. Tick. Some beautiful things but it was just too hot, too expensive, too spread out, and too many people. Kudos to L who came alone with me having already done it once (though there were a couple of newer areas opened up).
It was well past lunchtime so we headed to Red River, whose decor is inspired by the John Wayne movie of the same name, and who actually offer gluten free alternatives. We went the shared meze plate again, and L got gf bread this time. Again, the hummus was a little disappointing, lacking any strong garlic or lemon kick; the tzatziki was excellent, there were a couple of eggplant options, including a delicious and rich ratatouille-type dish; some potatoes that were okay, and a green beans with lemon and herbs and spices that was amazing.
We finished the afternoon with a wander around the Egyptian Bazaar, also known as the Spice Bazaar as it has lots of spice stalls and other food stalls, along with some other random stalls, It was a rehearsal for tomorrow’s expedition to the Grand Bazaar, which will likely be even more chaotic.
We spent the evening doing a traditional Turkish Hammam, where for 75 euros we were cooked, steamed, scrubbed, rubbed, sudded, and clayed. First up was strip off and put on a towel, then lie on a warm slab for 10-15 minutes. Then into the sauna, which was almost as hot as the Finnish ones, but a little less full of super-heated steam. From here it was the all over exfoliation scrub, followed by an oil massage. Turkish hammams follow gender stuff strictly (well, for “both kinds” anyway) and from online reading there appears to be two types of massage: from younger masseurs it s a full on pummelling; while older masseurs tend not to have the same strength so it’s more gentle. Fortunately I had an older gent doing the poking and prodding. After the massage comes the soap bath, and a clay face mask and apple tea to finish. A good two hours, even if it then took me another hour to stop sweating.
Having had the late lunch, dinner was a kebab at a busy little stall on the main street, where a chicken kebab with cheese and salad costs 120 TRY, or about $6 AUD. I tried to ask if they did a serve of chips as a separate thing for L, but instead got chips in my kebab. There wasn’t a choice of sauce, just a slightly spicy sauce, but it was good and fresh, and will get me through to breakfast.
Other notes from today: when viewed from some angles, one curtain has several folds that look like a human face. Turns out the tomato paste at breakfast also contains capsicum, so it’s fancy tomato sauce I’m putting on everything.
Tomorrow’s the last full day in Istanbul, before we then start heading home. Our missions are shopping, eat everything, and see Loreena McKennitt,