Day 9: The slow and loud train to Kanchanaburi

We started the day in Bangkok, quite slowly as we’re both feeling a bit of the effects of unfamiliar beds, including pillows far too soft. Regardless of all the head and neck massages, these pillows provide all the support of your average conservative politician. I fought off the headache with paracetamol, caffeine, and some ordinary bacon and eggs from the hotel cafe breakfast, before feeling up to facing the day.

Packing and checking out done, we were in a taxi and off to Thonburi station. For those not familiar with this place (including our driver, who had to use his GPS), this is the station where the third-class trains to elsewhere in Thailand leave from. The station isn’t much, three ticket windows, some benches, and a long short concrete platform. The ticket seller helpfully told us our train would leave from Platform 1, which is good because we couldn’t actually see any other platform signposted.

We’d stocked up on snacks for the 3 hour ride to Kanchanaburi, on the banks of the River Kwae (though, thanks to a Frenchman, farangs now know it as the River Kwai), and home of the fabled bridge. Among the snacks was a pack of Thailand Twisties (TM), which I’d picked up because the packaging looked like a knock-off, but then I read the packet and saw it was the genuine article. They weren’t bad, having more of the texture of Twisties of old, that familiar firmness; while the flavour was a little weak, less salty, and reminiscent of that weird cheese powder. They were much better than the cuttlefish flavoured balls I also got, which were spicy, salty, squidy, and with a flavour that lingered for all the wrong reasons.

We didn’t need to bring snacks, as the train rolled through the Thai countryside various random hawkers would board with baskets of food, like cakes, fried spicy chicken, drinks, and little packets of green chicken curry wrapped in banana leaves. I’m happy to report that the green curry we get in Australia tastes exactly like the green curry of Thailand.

Did I mention the train was third class, no wifi, no aircon, just three ceiling fans (only one oscillated properly) and windows to cool the carriage. Kind of Michael Palin stuff, though we were hardly travelling through quaint Thai countryside, as there are buildings almost the entire 130km length of the railway, barring a few areas too wet/not flat enough for housing, agriculture, or light industry. Palin’s crew would also have had sound issues, as it’s a pretty loud train, rattling through the countryside.

The seats are also damn hard. Remember those uselessly soft hotel pillows I mentioned? I’d have paid an extra 100THB (the ticket itself only cost 100THB) to have one of those supporting my derriere.

The train’s clientele are a mix of cheap-ass tourists (waves) and locals, including monks. We were scandalised when a monk boarded, kicked off his thongs, and proceeded to put his feet up on the seat opposite, with his soles visible to all. This, we are taught in Farang 101, is a big Buddhism no-no. Maybe it’s something monks can get away with that regular followers can’t, like kiddy-fiddling for priests in Catholicism. Either way, I was scandalised. Shocked.

After 3 hours of rattling and eating we arrived at Kanchanaburi. There are only a couple of trains each day from Bangkok, so the taxi-swindlers know the timetable and are out in force. Fortunately we only had a 15 minute walk so were happy to shrug off the horde.

Kanchanaburi is cheaper than Bangkok. As we strolled and rolled, we saw laundry services for 30THB/kg (100THB/kg in Bangkok) and the basic foot massage is 200THB (250THB in BKK). Food, accommodation and drinks are a bit cheaper, too.

We checked in to our $30/night guest house and took a walk down to the bridge. Without the history lesson, over 100,000 people died building the railway and bridge for the Japanese armed forces, the vast majority being local and imported Thai/Burmese laborers. A whole lot of Allied POWs were also killed in the process, Australians, British, Dutch, anyone the Japanese could get their hands on (helped by not being a signatory to the Geneva conventions). So it’s a bit of a sombre place if you’re thinking right.

Of course, near the bridge is a big market selling all manner of souvenirs, t-shirts, jewellery, food and drink, sombrely and respectfully of course. And closest to the bridge is a memorial to the very small amount of US POWs who died in the building, about 0.3% of the total killed.

I caught a glimpse but didn’t fully check out an apparent Japanese tribute to those they killed, something I will look up later. I guess the Thais, who were essentially a Japanese puppet in the process, are trying to keep everyone happy, as there’s also a large Commonwealth Grave nearby. Speaking with one of our massage ladies later, apparently this town is another that fills up with young Australians getting pissed and partying around Anzac Day. Stay classy everyone.

The bridge itself is neat, a little quaint, a typical case of an overwhelming episode of history wrapped up in something that doesn’t seem big enough to warrant it; the symbol is larger than the reality. It spans a typically beautiful bit of river, nothing too wide, and has a single railway line over it. Apparently the main criteria for selecting this location was the ground was sufficiently firm to build solidly on.

Dinner was at a place offering good beer and food. L pointed me at the selection of craft beers, and I saw an apparently local mango beer, a little pricey at 190THB but why not. I also ordered the Tom Yum Kung soup, my first in Thailand. The soup was wonderful, full of flavour, and not as bitter as many I’ve had in Australia, where it seemed to be more of a hot and sour soup. There were big chunks of lemongrass and ginger, along with the kaffir lime, prawns and tomatoes.

The beer, however and pardon the pun, a bit flat. What was described as a Thai beer on the menu was, on reading the fine print on the label, made in Australia and “inspired by Thailand”. A bit WTF indeed. It tasted okay, but is hardly the best mango beer in Australia. Will stick to Chang @70THB I think.

Then it was a foot massage (was tempted to ask for a derriere massage but feared  consequences in mistranslation) that was very relaxing, and gleaned some local knowledge from one of the masseuses.

Tomorrow we’re up at 7am to spend an off grid overnighter hanging with elephants at a local sanctuary, living without wifi. See y’all in 2 days.